Assalamualaikum warrahmatullahi wabarakatuh,
i totally respect people who always sabr in whatever happens to them. like small matters to the biggest matters, they always sabr no matter what without hesitation. truth to be told, people like that, there only one in a million.
i don't know why when something comes up, like when my younger brothers didn't want to hear me i will shout to them and if they made a mistake, i'd make sure they will get my revenge. i don't know, i've tried to calm myself down, but i failed. i just can't control my anger and can't be sabr. i'm trying to be sabr as i can but i can't.
i totally respect our prohet Muhammad pbuh. He can sabr with his ummah. his ummah did everything that hurt him, but he never replied with bad actions even with bad words. he also mentioned his ummah when he's on his last breathe. at that critical time, he still remembers us, who never always remember him. MasyaAllah.
i don't know, sometimes i feel like i already have far from Allah. i don't act like how muslims should act. i don't devide my love to my younger brothers equally. i don't help my mom frequently and let her do everyhting on her own. i don't greet my dad often. Nauzubillah. ya Allah, please open my heart to always walk in Your right path. ya Allah, guide me in every thing i do. i want to get mardhatillah. i want to be a good daughter to my parents. i want to make my parents happy. i want to help my parents and my family members when i grew up.
i just want to see the smile of my parents. i just want to be happy and i want them to never regret of having us as their kids. it hurts me whenever i see my parents crying. i just can't stand with that one condition. i can't see my parents unhappy. i just can't.
o' Allah, please give me chances to make my parents happy. Aamiin.
