Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
nowadays, i can feel myself can't control my temper. if something happens then the reaction will be serious. i can feel that i take some things seriously nowadays. and the most clearly thing that i found in myself that i cannot control my anger, Nauzubillahiminzalik. MasyaAllah, i don't want the bad temper of mine come surround myself again. i want to be more sabr.
i don't know, i'm too strict with some things and i want it looks the way i wanted. i want some things to look perfect to me& i want it to be the same as i wanted it to be. for example is, if someone wanted to take anything that belongs to me, they must ask my permission or else i will get burst. easily.
&if u are in a same house with me, u really have to ensure that cleanliness is the first priority. no mess, or else, something bad will happen to u.
&i feel so terrible that my younger brothers will be the victims. im not sure if im too stress with all the works that i have, but i know, that i should NOT be like that and for sure i as their sister should take a very good care of them and not always blaming them with something that is not logically should they get.
and im starting to feel that i have a bad temper again. i dont know. it happens suddenly and of course i feel bad and guilty whenever i get burst in front of my younger brothers and i can be so sayang with my other younger cousins. i know this is not fair. im the sister of them, should actually take a very good care of them and help my parents to ease their burden not making them more tired and worried. MasyaAllah, oh Allah, make it easy for me, make my heart easy to take a good care of them.
i dont want make them scared of me. i just want to be a sister that could protect my younger brothers and i want to be the best sister of them of course. making them trust on me, making them comfortable with me and making someone that can hears all of their stories and gives a good response and help them through their journey of life. MasyaAllah, i want to be a sister like that. a sister that Jannah wants. Aamiin. may Allah ease everything. Aamiin.
